They Love Bush...Pre-Election Rant

I just thought I'd share this with y'all. I'm not expecting a recommendation, I just would like to bask in the glow of my own prophetic wisdom for a moment regarding a little piece I wrote back in October 2004. This is not a serious piece, so please don't mistake it for one.

                They Love Bush 10/08/04

My mother-in-law, a hopeless republican from suburbia if ever you saw one, recently sent my wife one of those annoying emails you often get from relatives.

You know, the kind. They mainly consist of apocryphal anectdotes to warn us about bands of roaming theives who want to steal our kidneys, or they contain some "cute" list of reasons explaining "why beer is better than a wife" or some shit like that.

These are the people who are voting for Bush. People who send emails like these to their friends and family as a means to "keep in touch" during these modern times.

The images they share with us, tend to revolve around religion, 9/11, the troops, and first responders. You
know the type.

 

The one we got yesterday was supposed to be a very complimentary picture of Bush.



It finally dawned on me why Bush, after all he's done, still has so many supporters. It's not that they like his policies, or that they support the war in Iraq.


They are in love with him.

It explains everything. I mean, who among us has not been in a relationship that we know is damaging, yet can't find the courage or the will to leave?


What about male Bush voters, you say? It's simple. They are more in love with Bush than the women are.
Think about it. The vast majority of Bush support comes from the white anglo saxon male. The kind of man who agrees with Bush that we should change the constitution to ban gay marriages. As shakespeare said, "I think thou dost protest too much".


 Consider the above photo, and compare to the one below, which is the cover to a gay video called Cowboy Boy Roundup. The mystique behind Bush's appeal becomes much more apparent doesn't it. It all begins to make much more sense.



Rove is a genius. Cowboy=Village People=Latent Sexual Urges=Millions of votes.

It also explains the appeal of Laura Bush, which I could never understand. The vacant eyes, the stepford wife posture and visage. The complete and utter asexualness about her.

She's the perfect kind of wife for a man like Bush. A wife who's off baking cookies and planning PTA events, while the men go out back and take off their shirts and chop wood. The sweat glistening down... anyway
This explains a lot!!

It explains the obsessive desire these people had to bring Clinton down, the poster boy for heterosexuality.

It explains rebublicans total disgust when they are asked to pay their taxes. The man (Bush) is supposed to pay for the date. Not them.

It explains the obsession with Military and Firemen.

It explains the love of BIG GUNS!!!

For the record. There is nothing wrong with being gay. But these people are SICK!!!


Update 10/10/04; debate comments: Sad Pathetic Bush performance. Lowlights for Bush; Uncontrolled Maniacal behavoir in overruling Charles Gibson's attempt to keep order. My favorite: As soon as Bush walked out to the podium, he instantly went to his pad of paper and began writing. What the fuck was he writing? The debate had not even started. Obvioulsy took a page right out of Kerry's performance in debate one, but what a moron. At least wait till the debate starts for Chrissake.