BREAKING: Jesus Apologizes to Beatles

Jesus Christ has been catching a lot of heat lately over his recent comment claiming that he has become more popular than the Beatles.

Jesus, whose record sales have suffered following his unfortunate remark was quoted as saying:
"I wasn't trying to compare myself to the Beatles or anything like that. I was just saying that what with "The Passion of the Christ", Terri Schaivo, Tom Delay's bullshit and The Pope dying and all, that the hype has just gotten so blown out of control that, like- It's like the whole Beatles phenomenon man, where people are screaming and no ones even listening to the music anymore, dig? I mean, there are people thinking that pee stains in underpasses are graven images of my mother, for my sake!. If I offended anyone, then I sincerely apologize. The Beatles are the greatest band that ever existed and I would never try and compare my musical style with theirs. We're on completely different trips man."

Due to this controversy, Jesus has had to postpone plans for his next world tour, "Rapture Asses Off" which was scheduled to kick of this year in Jesus's hometown of Bethlehem, Israel. No tentative date has been set for the tour to resume.